We want to spend some time understanding Ephesians 4:15 more deeply because it is often misconstrued and taken out of context. The common interpretation is that we are to exercise love when we speak truth to others. While this is well-meaning, the connotation that we are to temper our witness for Christ so as not to offend is not true to the original meaning. Attempting to not offend others also leads to compromise and offering to others something less than the gospel.
It is not our witness which offends others. Anyone who is offended has the cross of Christ in view and is offended by Christ. The witness for Christ just happens to be the messenger at whom anger is directed.
That said, we should certainly avoid offending others particularly when our behavior or ill-mannered speech is the cause of an offense. We never have license to deliberately offend others, for that would be a sin.
We should first turn to the Greek Lexicon, where we find that “love” in Ephesians 4:15 is a noun derived from the verb agape. We understand agape to be the highest form of love, a love which is given often through sacrifice but does not expect a response.
If the interpretation should be that we are to lovingly speak truth to others, then it is a verb or an adjective. Being a noun, Thayer’s Lexicon writes that love is the basis for what we do. This changes the meaning drastically.
We speak the truth of Christ to others because of our love for Christ and others. This is the thrust of the verse. Thayer’s Lexicon further states that “love” is not to be connected with “truth”. The verse is not saying “lovingly speak truth”. Rather, love is connected with “grow”. The verse is saying, “Speak the truth of Christ because you love.”
To be sure, growth is the focus of the next verse, where we read, “[E]ven Christ, … according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.”
The first cause of growth is Christ. We learned in grammar class to ignore phrases within commas, and doing so results in, “[E]ven Christ … causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.” [NASB]
Christ causes the growth. Our love for Christ and for others results in building up or edifying in Christ. What is the end of our love? Is it not being filled with the fullness of God and the imitation of Christ? (Ephesians 3:19)
In the human realm, agape first and foremost refers to our response to God, and the secondary meaning is to affect our interpersonal relationships. Thus, the object of our speaking truth is the growth of others into the fullness of God and the indwelling of Christ. This is only achievable by speaking the truth of Christ to others.
Our aim is a consistent interpretation of Scripture. In 1 John 3:18, we are exhorted not to love “with word or with tongue” but in deed and truth. In other words, using 1 John 3:18 as a guide, we can confirm that lovingly speaking to others about the gospel is not the object of Ephesians 4:15.
John Calvin, consistent with Thayer’s Lexicon and 1 John 3:18, writes that it is not “so much ‘speaking the truth,’ as ‘embracing and adhering to it’”. While we must admit the plain reading of the word “speaking” as to exhort us to utter speech, Calvin’s object is the growth of the believer.
Matthew Poole writes that “this will be a means of our growing up”.
For those concerned about how our speech may offend others, if the object of any of our speech is to speak the truth of Christ and build up, edify, and grow the body of Christ, we will find that our speech will be tempered by the imitation of Christ and guidance of the Holy Spirit.
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