In this post, we will consider how parental discipline points the child to Christ.
Scripture reading: John 10:25-29
Parenting is tough. Of course, I was not a parent in the 1700s to know if things were any better then. With media demanding a huge chunk of our time, the potential for predators among both strangers and people I thought I knew, increasing violence and news reporting on violence, news of global events traveling at the speed of light, and the list can go on and on. With so many potential dangers outside our homes, it’s easy to be distracted and miss the important things which have a measurable effect on our children on a daily basis.
One morning, one of my children refused to get dressed for school. What do I do? The decision ultimately made was to take the child to school in pajamas. Missing school was not an option. Any other punishment would not have been effective. Driving up to the school parking lot, I simply turned to the child and said, “Ok, now what?” I had made sure to bring the child’s school clothes with us. At the child’s request, we walked to the school office together where it was obvious the staff were barely holding in giggles, picked up the bathroom key where the child changed, returned to the office to retrieve a late pass, and went about the day.
My initial instinct was to protect the child from such embarrassment. On the other hand, I clearly understood that protecting the child would not produce any real change. On a positive note, none of my children have ever tried anything like that again … ever! And perhaps this is the real key behind why we discipline our children.
When I had done something wrong, whether it was disobeying or disrespecting my parents or something bigger such as lying or cheating, my father would say, “It hurts me more than it does you when I have to discipline and correct you.” I never could figure that one out. But then, my own children came along, and I can see how there is truth in my father’s words.
Sometimes, the hurt does not stop with the discipline. Riding home in the car, two children started fighting and speaking about the other with unkind words. The instruction to stop was ignored and on arriving home discipline was required, first, for the direct disobedience of an instruction and, second, for converting unkind thoughts into hurtful words. It hurt me deeply that my children would treat one another so badly, it hurt that one of my children was the object of such hurtful verbal missiles, and it hurt that I had to discipline them in such a time.
Why do we discipline our children if it hurts so much? After all, our basic instinct as human is to retreat from pain.
How can a child who is a delight one day be careless and hurtful the next? James 3:10-12 has something to say about this, “From the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh.”
The obvious answer is that it is not possible for a fountain to yield both salt and fresh water, a fig tree to produce olives or a vine to produce figs. The point James is making here is that the fruit we see from a plan and actions we see from a person comes from the heart. The heart of a fig tree or vine is its seed and its roots which come from the seed. Our heart is either rooted in the Lord or rooted in the devil. It cannot be both at the same time.
Our children are not born as followers of the Lord and fall into sin on accident. They are born with a desire for the Lord and are drawn to the Lord by the Holy Spirit, but they are most definitely born into sin. Psalm 51:5, Romans 3:23, Luke 18:19. In our childhood, it takes time to figure things out. Even with the best teachers, being raised in church, and surrounded by Bible-believing friends and family, it takes time for children to come to learn who the Lord is and make a decision to turn to the Lord on their own.
One of our tasks as parents is to guide them toward the Lord. We have a serious responsibility and a role to play in leading them to the Lord. We cannot make decisions for them or force them to follow the Lord. Sometimes they grow up rebelling against the Lord to the point that they wind up in trouble or hurting themselves or someone else very deeply.
Most days my children respond to instructions they are given. A big reason for that is they have learned from experience that there are consequences to poor decisions. Jesus said, “My sheep hear My voice.” How can we hear a voice and know we should respond to it unless we are trained? There were several instances as a child when I was separated from my parents. One I do not remember, and one I do. We were in a large building crowded with people. I was following my father and had my eyes fixated on his blue jacket. His jacket was unique, so it was easy to follow. My eyes must have been distracted for just a moment and suddenly the blue jacket was gone! Pushing through the crowd, desperately I tried to find the blue jacket again, and after some diligent searching and much fear on my part, the jacket was found.
My father who was completely unaware of what happened had kept walking. It was up to me to pay attention and follow.
It is up to my children to follow my instruction, but how can they know it if I do not give it? And how can they know that the Lord is speaking to them unless they learn to heed instructions? The discipline I give as a parent teaches them to respond to my instruction and teaches them to listen for the voice of the Lord and to respond to Him.
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