Imagine this scene, or maybe it has happened to you! A parent drives a child to school. They are just barely on time, but by the time the child arrives in the classroom, the child is late. In a moment of grace, the teacher decides not to require a tardy pass. “Everyone has a bad day sometimes,” the teacher thinks quietly.
Three days later, the same situation is repeated. Two days after that, it happens again. Finally, the teacher decides nothing is going to be learned by this, so the teacher requires that the student obtain a tardy pass. Perhaps we can predict the outcome. The student complains to the parent because the student is not the one who decides when to leave and is not driving the car. The parent, rather than feeling any responsibility for the situation, decides to complain to the teacher.
Can we learn anything about God and righteous living from this scenario? I believe we can.
First, let’s ask why the teacher did not require a tardy pass one day but did on another day? We would probably be right believing the teacher acted with grace in allowing the student to remain in class without a tardy pass. The teacher overlooked a fault through the eyes of empathy and considered that something else was occurring besides a desire to be late.
However, once the student was chronically late, the teacher felt the need to protect boundaries. Let’s unpack this a little.
1. Relaxing boundaries enables a pattern of behavior. Allowing the student to continually slip into class late without requiring a tardy pass enabled the student (and, more importantly, the parent) to be chronically late. What is more, a chronically late student disrupts the class already in session. The teacher was wise to decide grace must be withheld if the newly developed pattern of poor behavior is to be broken and the best interest of the other students is to be protected.
Whenever we excuse someone’s poor choices or poor behavior, whether it be an employee/employer or co-worker, child or student, spouse or relative, friend or even someone we don’t know all that too well, we are essentially encouraging the same choices and poor behavior. We are not creating the environment necessary to foster change.
When it comes to our faith relationship with God, it turns out that He is much more jealous and protective of His boundaries than we would like to think. God knows our poor choices and poor behavior do nothing to help us, so He allows consequences to exist and speaks to us through His Holy Spirit to encourage us to repent from our misdeeds. It is at our own peril that we ignore these calls to repentance and sanctification.
2. We are not in a position to expect grace. Just because the teacher gives the student grace one day or even two days does not automatically mean we stumbled onto a supply of inexhaustible grace. A person who is expected to operate by a set of rules or guidelines but chooses not to is not necessarily the type of person with whom we should want to keep company.
At some point, the teacher would be ignoring the rules or guidelines governing teachers in the school. Once the principal received word that a student was chronically late, the principal will hold the teacher accountable for allowing the poor behavior.
God, being Who He is, cannot deviate from the laws by which He exists. One of those laws is love – love for Himself, love for order and unity, and love for us. If God chose not to abide by the very commandments He has given us, He would not be God at all and would certainly not be a God with self-respect. Why give a commandment for us and then not live by that same commandment Himself? God will follow the laws He has given us, and we are not in a position to expect Him to cut us slack.
God’s mercy and grace are limitless, but all that means is He understands we are human and will sin, even if unintentionally. Our choices made willfully are what get us into trouble in our human relationships and are also what get us into trouble with God.
3. It is an abuse of grace (and the other person) to expect leniency all the time. Aside from the fact that the student doesn’t learn anything from continued leniency and the teacher has no self-respect for boundaries and how other people treat him or her, the student (and the parent) commit an abuse of grace for expecting grace from day to day.
We would jump at the opportunity to be the recipient of continued grace, especially when you are late for an appointment, and the police officer who set up a speed trap chose not to stop you for speeding. But would you jump at the opportunity to have a long-term relationship with someone who had no self-respect? What kind of a relationship is that, anyway? It is not healthy in either direction.
An abuse of grace is really an expectation for a lawless society, one in which we can make whatever choices we want and never experience any consequences.
There was once such a society. The people did whatever pleased them and whatever was right in their own imagination. Self-importance ran high, and others were taken advantage of and abused without thought. God was no longer mentioned or observed, and faith had no place or role. Whatever laws existed were ignored. The people thought they had gotten away with the perfect crime – abusing God’s grace.
And then a flood came. Genesis 6:5-18
We are not in a position to abuse God’s grace. For that matter, we are not in a position to abuse grace extended to us by anyone. Accept grace when given or offered, but remember, a person with no self-respect does not offer a worthwhile relationship. Consequences will come, sooner or later. When we deal with God, only one term can define what He expects of us – “personal responsibility.” No matter what anyone else does, we are accountable for what we do, whether it is being late to class or sinning before God.
Whatever grace may be, it does not absolve our guilt. Grace does not change the fact that we have committed wrong. All grace does is takes away the penalty. But it turns out that grace that can be abused is not really grace at all. Only grace from the God who has self-respect for the laws and commands He has given is worth having.
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